That… is the living definition of 13 Consecutive Miracles. Take any one thing out of the chain, and you’re fine. Put it back in, and you’re laying there on top of your power washer with cracked ribs, watching a cow do the backstroke….

Not to laugh, but yeah, that was funny… :)

I can only imagine what the cow was thinking… Wait. Cows don’t think. Well, I mean they do think, it just “eat, drink, poo, sleep, eat, poo, sleep, drink, pee, eat more, poo…”

Speaking of wondering what people are thinking, I can only imagine what my wife was thinking… you know how you walk in on the tail end of a conversation and whatever you hear is taken totally out of context? Something like that…

I’m almost at the end of “The Begats”, cursing the psychotic individual who designed this particular ground auger, when my wife walks up and hears me crabbing the following as I stomp off to find my floor jack….

“…But nooOOOoooo! Because some f—–g lion didn’t eat the right f—–g monkey a million years ago, I’m the one who gets to deal with this cluster-f*&k of agricultural lawn art! Where’s the justice in that?!? I swear to God, I wish I had a time machine because then I’d go back and find that f—-g monkey and shoot his hairy ass deader’n Julius Caesar….”

And something else about finding genuine Chinamen in the bottom of those holes, but I forget whatever that bit was…

I think making a catastrophe into something funny is related to schadenfreude in some way… there’s the funny, or taking joy from a bad situation, but since it’s happening to you personally, I’m not sure how that works…

Erm, whatever… I just confused myself. I gotta go get some chain and bolts from the hardware store, sooo… I’d stay the hell away from ladders for at least a couple days, no matter how crappy the brown barn looks… it’s a trap. Trust me.

The wicked flee when none pursueth..." - Proverbs 28:1