November 23, 2014 at 4:13 am #30133
We all know the type, easily slighted, counts the blessings of others vrs their own, usually passive aggressive but not always thankfully.
In a politically correct world obviously its best to walk away, but if SHTF that may not be an option. While everyone else is afraid to lead and make the wrong decision, they jump to the table eager to lead, and when they screw up they cover up, when challenged they go on the attack. (pretty sure selco talks about this)
Stalin is probably a great historical example. Wouldn’t want to challenge his stupid idea. “yes I will move the couch over there, its a great idea. Move it back? sure absolutely, looks great there.”
Thankfully they are easy to spot. They just can’t help themselves.
Would love to hear about any work storys, or politically correct solutions for dealing with this brand of psyco.
As a curly haired freak of nature myself, ive always been fascinated with the topic. Apparently the romans where famous for murdering those with curly hair, for no reason other than insecurity. then they would make a wig out of the persons hair and wear it lol. ( I keep my hair short because of this, and I don’t like to be grabbed by the hair anyway.)
Also there is the famous gum in the hair at school incidents with women.
Equally interesting is people who are on the other end of the spectrum, doesn’t matter what they do or know, they are confident in themselves regardless of who wants to bust them down.
Lets try to keep it civil tho. I’m sure we have all had one or two bosses or megalomaniacs cross our path.
law 1 of 48 laws of power talks exclusively about this topic, but doesn’t really give any advice other than walk away, or stroke their ego.
Never be afraid to do the righteous thing, nothing righteous is ever easy.November 23, 2014 at 5:01 am #30141
Law # 1… Never argue with a psychopath, it will just keep repeating the same thing over and over again and shouting louder each time. Until you shoot it.
Law # 2… Dexter was a great tv series.
Law # 3… The Romans are all dead even Spartacus. Reguardless of the odds in the game of thrones there were survivors.
Law # 4… People who can’t see winter is coming are necessary. Just accept it and move on.November 23, 2014 at 11:12 am #30158
You need to stand your ground with them or you will get run over every time. If you want any control of your life you have to let them know your not their servant. Usually a big blowout occurs, pick you battles.November 23, 2014 at 4:56 pm #30182
Come SHTF you may not be able to walk away and stroking their ego could be dangerous to the welfare of the group, so this is a good topic. I have my own experience with the co-worker from hell which in large part drove me to retire early, which I suppose was the walk away option. A year prior I did do as 74 suggests, and was surprised at the positive change in behavior towards me (but not others), but I was already burnt out at that point and so it was too little too late.November 23, 2014 at 6:12 pm #30185
Insecurity is really paranoid behavior. The person is over compensating with aggressive behavior & comments. When you don’t cave it makes them more uncertain. They don’t have any respect for you, but will leave you alone out of their own fear.November 23, 2014 at 6:16 pm #30186
There is a good movie about personalities in crisis . Its based on a true story . Its called ” Defiance ” with Daniel Craig . Very good movie , and kind of relevant to the discussion . At one point craig s character got sick , and some insecure took over and started to change things , craig s character shot him dead , no questions asked . The rest fell back in line very quickly . Other things as well .November 24, 2014 at 12:39 am #30209
HA! P/A personalities…I could write you a book. Had/have some prime examples of P/A personalities in my life. Fortunately, I am very direct. (which oft times is, alone, enough to set off the P/A behavior – because they are anything but yet wish they could be – just haven’t learned how (insecurities hold them back you see). I may not like confrontation (who does – really ) I don’t shy away from calling a spade a spade. But with PA’s, with experience- you learn all their little ways. Then totally ignore them, look them straight in the eye – raise one eyebrow and say nothing and wait…… or often times, in a very calm, direct, quiet voice let them know in no uncertain terms you recognize their behavior (based in hostility) – you reject it – refuse to be manipulated – then walk away and ignore them . I am totally unwilling to expend time and energy playing games of that sort. Let them know loud and clear in a calm, controlled manner and poof.They will redirect their hostility issues elsewhere very quickly.
I had this bookmarked – it’s fairly good read o topic if it helps you KOSNovember 24, 2014 at 1:38 am #30216
The real problem is , PA’s and the others , are usually the ones that learn how to play people , then get into positions of REAL power . Very dangerous to all , you mentioned Stalin as an example . The more direct people only get so high in the power game , as they put people off ………the people that matter . Patton is an example . He didnt know how to keep his mouth shut or diplomacy , he almost ended the last years of the war behind a desk .November 24, 2014 at 2:01 am #30218
You are correct Tolik, imo, however…the truly great leaders have PA’s as advisors…haha. Yes the likes of my favorites like Ross Perot….the Chris Christies, the Ronald Reagans – they can have a time of it…but the direct who are wise can learn the art of diplomacy..and every once in a while the sheeple sense they have been being played and do yearn for a leader who says what he means and does what he says. Thankfully. Just not often enough. Probably because of low exposure to the beauty of that kind of character. Simple/no bs/don’t have to wonder where they are coming from.November 24, 2014 at 2:35 am #30222
Putin is one of those leadersNovember 24, 2014 at 2:36 am #30223
Good article tweva. My situation at work was complicated by the fact that she was my boss’s wife. Most folks in her line of fire just leave when they can’t take it anymore. As I think about it, she really was only P/A on her calm days. The rest of the time was just plain old aggression. Otherwise she was brilliant, incredibly insightful, took credit for anything that worked, and never the blame for anything that didn’t. The hubby on the other hand was about the best boss you could wish for.November 24, 2014 at 2:39 am #30225
Yep TolikNovember 24, 2014 at 2:55 am #30228
<div class=”d4p-bbp-quote-title”>MountainBiker wrote:</div>The hubby on the other hand was about the best boss you could wish for.
so weird how that works.
<div class=”d4p-bbp-quote-title”>Tolik wrote:</div>Putin is one of those leaders
last i checked something like over 31 plausibly deniable food poisonings and a couple people with rare cancers. Malevolent.
not including the recent journalist, or those poor sexy topless protestors screaming “putin bad, putin war”
Never be afraid to do the righteous thing, nothing righteous is ever easy.November 24, 2014 at 3:30 am #30234
<div class=”d4p-bbp-quote-title”>tweva wrote:</div>HA! P/A personalities…I could write you a book.
you should tweva, its a taboo topic, but lots of people looking for solutions to the problem. i would do it under an alias tho, people get all stabby when you expose them.
Never be afraid to do the righteous thing, nothing righteous is ever easy.November 25, 2014 at 1:09 am #30278
I wouldnt do it under an alias , that would compromise your principles . Then you would be doing what they do . Be a Snowden . Like most things in in life , if you cant handle the repercussions of whatever action you take………..dont do it . Just Sayin
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