Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 21 total)
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  • #45985
    Profile photo of namelus
    namelus
    Survivalist
    member7

    An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

    He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s Clinic. Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000!”

    Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000, so he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.

    Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”

    Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

    Dr. Young: Aaagh !! — “This is Gasoline!”

    Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

    Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

    Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.”

    Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

    Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t! That is Gasoline!”

    Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

    Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

    Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see anything!!!!

    Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so here’s your $1000 back.” (giving him a $10 bill)

    Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!

    Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

    Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”*

    Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

    #45993
    Profile photo of MountainBiker
    MountainBiker
    Survivalist
    member10

    Good one!

    #45997
    Profile photo of Corvus
    Corvus
    Survivalist
    member4

    It’s not just because I am old, your music really does suck! Seen that on a button.

    #46001
    Profile photo of L Tecolote
    L Tecolote
    Survivalist
    member8

    I love it! In less than five years, if my good luck holds, I’ll be an old man, though perhaps not a geezer.

    Cry, "Treason!"

    #46013
    Profile photo of GeorgiaSaint
    GeorgiaSaint
    Veteran
    member9

    Thanks, Namelus. Love it! I’m not quite officially old if I have to meet L Tecolote’s criteria for that status, but I’m already practicing by getting more and more crotchety. ;)

    With everything going on around us, I appreciate the above post, and the one below that someone else posted on the SHTF Forum elsewhere recently. We need to keep a sense of humor, regardless.

    GS
    "Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land."

    #46056
    wildartist
    wildartist
    Survivalist
    member7

    As the saying goes–Old age and treachery….;) Especially if you make it a point to stay fit, active and alert.
    Not fun getting old (almost 73) but still having fun. Went duck/goose hunting the past few days, retrieved the shot waterfowl yesterday in the kayak, and will go bowhunting in a few more. Have already set up the stand yesterday. Field dressed, cut up and froze two deer already. Caring for my disabled husband after his heart surgery–and he is now well enough to duck hunt again. Helped our (disabled vet) hunting buddy today by getting in all the decoys myself via waders and hook… Both he and my husband are younger than I.
    And I can still garden, shoot a handgun well, do basic carpentry, keep house and yard, cook…and have a small art business where I do custom hunting dog portraits for people across the country. It burns me that they upped my truck insurance just because I hit 70. I am NOT a statistic, nor am I a frail old blue-hair.
    It’s not over yet!!!

    #46059
    Profile photo of GeorgiaSaint
    GeorgiaSaint
    Veteran
    member9

    Wildartist, glad to hear your husband is on the mend nicely. And your impressive attitude (and consequent abilities) are good motivation for the rest of us. Thanks for sharing.

    GS
    "Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land."

    #46063
    Profile photo of MountainBiker
    MountainBiker
    Survivalist
    member10

    Good going wildartist! No its not over yet.

    #46155
    Profile photo of GeorgiaSaint
    GeorgiaSaint
    Veteran
    member9

    Anyone want another laugh at a certain group’s expense? Pay attention to the rapist walking across the street toward the camera.

    Middle Eastern Rape Victim Gets Revenge in Broad Daylight

    https://www.facebook.com/tacticalshit/videos/1614132325475652/

    Either one gets it, or one doesn’t. No comment. ;)

    GS
    "Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land."

    #49613
    Profile photo of GeorgiaSaint
    GeorgiaSaint
    Veteran
    member9

    Found on Facebook, with the following accompanying statement:

    These are the most deadly bullet clips of all time. We must do something to stop this madness. These rounds are capable of dispensing at 600 magazine clips per second, and they can travel up to 12 miles.

    One comment to the post seems to pretty much wrap it up:

    Those are high velocity, armor piercing, GPS guided, drone fired, incendiary rounds.

    Enjoy.

    GS
    "Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land."

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    #50009
    Profile photo of GeorgiaSaint
    GeorgiaSaint
    Veteran
    member9

    From the Mensa Society home page:

    “Membership of Mensa is open to persons who have attained a score within the upper two percent of the general population on an approved intelligence test … .”

    From the 22nd Amendment of the Constitution of the United States:

    “Section 1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice … .”

    Attached photo from the streets of a Georgia city on 19 September 2016. No, it is not photo-shopped, and it is not from an unknown source. We were stopped at a light today and my wife was driving. I was adding a couple of things to my “To Do” list for the day when she burst out laughing and told me to look at what was directly in front of us. With cell phone in hand, I quickly switched from the “To Do” list to the camera. Still laughing out loud…. (The photo does enlarge.)

    GS
    "Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land."

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    #50015
    wildartist
    wildartist
    Survivalist
    member7

    If that is an example of the ‘upper 2 percent’ we are in very serious trouble. But of course, all of us on this forum already knew that…

    #50016
    Profile photo of L Tecolote
    L Tecolote
    Survivalist
    member8

    I always wondered what kind of people it took to approve the “approved intelligence test.” I think I just found out.

    Cry, "Treason!"

    #50020
    Profile photo of GeorgiaSaint
    GeorgiaSaint
    Veteran
    member9

    Oh, they accept IQ scores from any of the standard, recognized IQ tests (Wechsler, Stanford-Binet, etc.), as well as a few other “equivalents” such as a high SAT or GRE score that would generally indicate a high IQ. Yes, they also have their own test for those that haven’t been able to obtain an IQ score from school testing, or don’t have a decent SAT or GRE score, for example, but the bottom line is that the concept of having a top 2% IQ score, regardless of the testing used to obtain the score, is NOT indicative of anything other than that person’s brain is capable of doing a multitude of specific, measurable functions better than 98% of everybody else. It says NOTHING about the common sense or social appropriateness of the individuals holding membership in the “society.” DC is full of them ….
    [Note: I had to do enough IQ testing in grad school to be able to become certified in the tests. One learns a lot in that process …. Talk about having one’s eyes opened! I was just a young (late 20s) grad student at the time, without a lot of “life experience” yet. What an education – and preparation for the rest of my life in the real world! LOL!]

    GS
    "Ye hear of wars in far countries, and you say that there will soon be great wars in far countries, but ye know not the hearts of men in your own land."

    #50027
    wildartist
    wildartist
    Survivalist
    member7

    True…those academic tests “test” for specific abilities, not the common sense and inventiveness that helps us cope with the real world…or survival. Most of the ‘high IQ’ people would die within 24 hours of a true disaster.

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