Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #23897
    elijah
    elijah
    Prepper
    member6

    EuroEnglish

    The European Commission has announced that after a study, an agreement that English will be the official language of the EU — rather than German. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English Spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5-year phase-in of new rules which would apply to the language and reclassify it as EuroEnglish.

    The agreed plan is as follows:
    In year 1, the soft ‘c’ would replaced by the ‘s’.
    Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be replaced by ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter.
    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ is replaced by ‘f’. This will reduse ‘fotograf’ by 20%.

    In the 3d year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’s in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them.

    By year 4, peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’ (saving mor keyboard spas).
    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be applied to ozer kombinations of leters.
    After zis fifz year, ve vil have a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer vil be no more trubls or difikultis and evrirum vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

    Actually, never mind: that would be German after all.

    Bugs Bunny: "I speak softly, but I carry a big stick."
    Yosemite Sam: "Oh yeah? Well I speak LOUD! and I carry a BIGGER stick! and I use it, too!" BAM!

    #23900
    Profile photo of ronym
    ronym
    Survivalist
    member5

    pepole cna raed wrod crorrcetly atlohgh teh lteter aer not correctly placed
    because our brain capable of recognizing word pattern
    if he recognize that language of course ( such as english )
    .
    Akan tetapi ia tidak akan mampu membaca dengan benar
    apalagi memahami artinya jika ia tidak mengetahui bahasa yang digunakan dalam tulisan ini.
    although the letter are correctly placed.

    #23903
    Jay
    Jay
    Survivalist
    member3

    Hehe nice! German and English have lots in common though. No surprise as English is primarily a West Germanic language.

    Alea iacta est ("The die has been cast")

    #23907
    Profile photo of undeRGRönd
    undeRGRönd
    Survivalist
    member8

    :D

    I saw that one coming around “z” lol

    "ROGUE ELECTRICIAN" Hoping to be around to re-energize the New World.....

    Cogito, ergo armatus sum

    #23909
    Tolik
    Tolik
    Survivalist
    member10

    I watched a soccer ESPN show , they had 3 limeys and a player that was from Africa , commenting on various games . The African spoke better , cleaner English than the 3 limeys …………………whats wrong with that picture .

    #23948
    Whirlibird
    Whirlibird
    Survivalist
    member10

    <div class=”d4p-bbp-quote-title”>Tolik wrote:</div>I watched a soccer ESPN show , they had 3 limeys and a player that was from Africa , commenting on various games . The African spoke better , cleaner English than the 3 limeys …………………whats wrong with that picture .

    That’s because he spoke english.
    The last Englishman I spoke with was harder to understand than a South African Boer (conference call).

    #24039
    Profile photo of ronym
    ronym
    Survivalist
    member5

    maybe it’s because of Englishman “accent”
    sometimes old english pronunciation or accent
    are difficult to hear and to understand
    because to many humming or low freq voice

    #24047
    Tolik
    Tolik
    Survivalist
    member10

    They should police that a bit better , US newscasters have to go to a school to loose any regional accent before they are allowed to go in front of the big screen , crap, my Russian girlfriend speaks better english than those tea drinkers .

    #24059
    elijah
    elijah
    Prepper
    member6

    A tour of the British Isles in Accents

    Bugs Bunny: "I speak softly, but I carry a big stick."
    Yosemite Sam: "Oh yeah? Well I speak LOUD! and I carry a BIGGER stick! and I use it, too!" BAM!

    #24072
    Jay
    Jay
    Survivalist
    member3

    I lived in Australia for two years… damn those guys are hard to understand. :X

    Alea iacta est ("The die has been cast")

    #24077
    Profile photo of matt76
    matt76
    Survivalist
    member8

    Eli that was pretty cool. It took a lot of practice to be able to float in and out of the different accents in that video. We joke around imitating New Yorkers or people from Boston and stuff but being able to accurately depict a particular accent could come in handy in a SHTF. It might at least keep folks from figuring out where you are from.

    #24083
    elijah
    elijah
    Prepper
    member6

    <div class=”d4p-bbp-quote-title”>matt76 wrote:</div> being able to accurately depict a particular accent could come in handy in a SHTF. It might at least keep folks from figuring out where you are from.

    I must admit I hadn’t thought of that. It could be useful to try and sound like a local.

    Bugs Bunny: "I speak softly, but I carry a big stick."
    Yosemite Sam: "Oh yeah? Well I speak LOUD! and I carry a BIGGER stick! and I use it, too!" BAM!

    #24120
    Profile photo of undeRGRönd
    undeRGRönd
    Survivalist
    member8

    …and when/if you slip up, just say “I spent a lot of time in X” (midwest, etc)

    "ROGUE ELECTRICIAN" Hoping to be around to re-energize the New World.....

    Cogito, ergo armatus sum

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.