September 15, 2014 at 2:11 am #24802
…and not kill each other before the zombies’ do? Ok so no surprise I’m sick of Ebola and ISIS. That said, here’s my effort to redirect your thoughts for a moment.
If you expect family, friends or group members to end up with you when SHTF…might want to think ahead and mentally prepare….and do a little honest assessment. THEN, write down some ‘rules of the road; – ahead of time. Much like being in a relationship there are always stupid, seemingly little t ings (i.e. how you squeeze toothpaste etc) that can drive the other half batty – and create actual conflict. Think ahead. What are your personal triggers. Imagining cohabiting with others you may know well, but have never lived with…what will happen if you don’t have some ‘rules’ or discussions with them about living and/or working together during SHTF (already stressful).
It isn’t something you might think is important but it can quickly create division, ill will and big problems quickly! Just having my 90 yr old father living with me is hard enough. A long time friend just left, having visited (in ‘good’ times) for 2 weeks…which is what got me to thinking about the importance of this.
What would your ‘rules’ be to help prevent problems (of course you need to have adult discussions with the new arrivals and discuss them/achieve compromise). Here’s a few of mine:
-don’t touch my stuff!!! If a tool or some other apparatus shows up in location – leave it there – I have plans! Dragged it there f r a reason….so when I have a second or two…what I need to accomplish job is already gathered where needed.
– be courteous, be aware of the hour…just because you want to get up at 3 am doesn’t mean everyone else does
– if I want company I will seek it out or otherwise let it be known. BUT when I am in the middle of something, please do NOT feel free to scare the crap out of me when I have earplugs in and a chainsaw in my hand thinking I might ‘want a break’ and ‘have a chat’
-PUT STUFF BACK where you found it. Organization, to me, is key to the efficiency with which I am able to get things done – knowing where things are to be found. Don’t open a closet, drawer, open a door to a storage place and toss crap in because somehow it was bothering you where it was and – hey that’s a handy/expedient place to put it.
-Oh…i could go on…but I want to hear from y’all.
OK….goodnight. Was a long, hard day.September 15, 2014 at 3:38 am #24804
Great topic Tweva. Due to housing plans, my father and mother in law, brother in law and his wife and my wife, 2 children and I all lived in the same house for 2 years. YIKES!!!! It was kinda fun at first but after the new wore off …..well let’s just say it was an adventure. it is amazing just how aggravating “the little things” can be. One of the things we found helped a lot was giving each family their own space within the house, a place where no one was allowed unless invited in. These were the bedrooms in our case. It was their “house.” When you have 3 kings and 3 queens of a household under one roof it helps if they each have their own territory to rule. The living room and kitchen were commons areas. Finding a niche for each individual helps too. That niche or duty is performed the way that person does it. Here’s an example. My mother in law is a neat freak with a good helping of OCD. Needless to say after a while that will rub anybody the wrong way. Her niche was the kitchen. We all piched In to cook and clean up after dinner but the kitchen was cleaned to her standard and arranged as she wished. My wife handled laundry. My wife is 4’10” so the laundry room was arranged so she could reach everything and was to her liking. We all did laundry but we did it in the manner that helped her the most. I could go on and on but this is a start.September 15, 2014 at 9:31 am #24812
Good start Matt76. Good to have practice runs as well. My advice – get to know your future survival buddies. Go camping often. My dad used to say Take your boyfriend on a good hiking trip before saying YES. Think you need to choose your friends well in life and do the best you can with family
If you know that it will end soon (the visit), your mindset is different. But it goes both ways. Say you go sailing on a boat – from the very beginning your mindset will be to stay calm and collected. There is simply nowhere to go with your cabin fever on a boat. You simply need to work things out and make it work.
But it is definitely something I think about often – I think strong independent people used to doing things for themselves might battle a little bit. how to get to that certain state of mind – to be as patient as my grandmother. I’ve realized that “well trained” men that’s been married for a while, settle in well in big group of people. The loners might get irritated with the children. To accept the situation knowing the person is old and not thinking that clearly anymore, just like you need to accept that children ears hurt when flying.
In a survival situation it would be best to do things military style. To keep things as neat as possible and to know where everything is at all times. To have certain people do certain things that they are good at. And communicate often. There will be times when a small thing will bother you – and then there will be serious and very sad times when just the big things will bother you.September 15, 2014 at 9:42 am #24813
I think you are correct when you say military style and your reference to boats. They each need a captain in charge. If you have a group with no recognized leader it will become chaotic under stress. Everyone must agree to follow directions from the chosen leader of the group. Then you can organize duties and whatever down the line.September 15, 2014 at 11:01 am #24817
Good topic, and one that I have thought about without resolution. If it is just my son & his wife & dog, I don’t see any issues. If it were just our daughter, hubby & kids, I don’t see any issues. If both, I need a meeting of the minds so to speak because son & daughter are as opposite as night and day. He’s solidly in the libertarian camp and she’s a liberal through and through and they see the world through different lens. His dog is like his kid. She doesn’t want his dog near her kids. It’s a border collie/husky mix and just wants to be loved, not a pit bull or anything like that. Just having them all here for a couple days at Christmas is stressful and I sometimes find myself playing referee and/or walking on eggshells so to speak. It is possible son would bring a couple of his survivalist type friends. I have met them but don’t know them well. They would greatly aid the security detail aspect of this being that seems to be a strength of his little group, but what else they bring to the table I don’t know. Who else might show up is an unknown to me.September 15, 2014 at 11:30 am #24822
I often wonder if liberal minded people will see things differently when their lives are at stake. I usually come back to, no they will still have another alternative view no matter what is happening.September 15, 2014 at 1:10 pm #24828
You will notice that prolonged period with people that are not very close to you when you are under the hard condition (SHTF) will add much more pressure to you.
People act different under the pressure, you may know someone very good, live with him for several years, and then one day to find out that you do not know him very well, he (or she) may act very different then you are expecting under hard conditions.
Good practice is to train that with your folks, I mean you can not have real conditions, but having camp trip can be good way to find out what you and people around you need to work on more.
About company when SHTF good thing is to consider the thought that family or group is usually not meant to be some ideal kind of democracy.
It is good to know exactly who is in charge and who is who.September 15, 2014 at 1:55 pm #24835
I once had a person from Kenya as a co-worker. One day we were talking about wives and he mentioned he had eight! As I stood there with my jaw on the floor he busted out laughing. I asked how he kept the peace. He said each of his wives had a separate house where that wife and her children lived. There was a main house where he lived with one of his wives. That wife and her children would live with him for a while and then move out as another of the wives moved in.
Such an arrangement might work with extended families except using tents.
RobinSeptember 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm #24839
yeah…if you are a guy LMAO!September 15, 2014 at 9:11 pm #24875
74, if the SHTF, and my daughter & family are able to make it here (son will definitely come but he is only 100 miles away, she is 850 miles from here), the reality may well change her worldview, especially with her having two babies (currently 28 months and 4 months). Where she lives in an upscale suburban area you’d be hard pressed to see evidence that the economy continues to deteriorate, and being busy with babies all day she isn’t getting more than headline news from the main stream media. I keep trying to chip away at their awareness and thinking each time I see them, and will have another opportunity in a few weeks. The last time I was there I took the 2 year old with me to buy ammo at a Gander Mountain store, and had fun telling them I took her for her 1st ammo run. My son-in-law surprised me by saying when the girls are teenagers I can teach them how to shoot. Maybe there’s hope for them!
One thought I had, regardless of who is at my house is to assign individuals a core responsibility so it isn’t me trying to be all things to all people. For example, my son takes the lead on security, me the gardening, daughter managing the food stores, my wife child care while the rest of us work etcSeptember 16, 2014 at 12:56 am #24892
Great topic – this is definitely a concern. The dynamics for each family are always different, and my gut instinct is we’ll probably have at least 12 people that would wander our way. None of these people are prepared, and are all very different: nuclear Catholic families, gay couples, singles, etc. I’m not turning anyone we love away, so we have to figure out very quickly how to make it work. A SHTF situation isn’t the time to be fighting internally.September 16, 2014 at 1:08 am #24893
I’m with you Amanda11. I would find it very difficult to turn any family or friend away. We’d have to find a way to make it work. The common goal of survival can be a great motivator, and some of the folks that we have low expectations of in the current environment may prove to be very valuable indeed in a very changed set of circumstances.September 16, 2014 at 2:52 am #24896
Amanda it was suggested earlier but I would do my best to try and get those you think will be coming to go camping. You can make it as remote(no tents) or pampered(RV)as you like. At least get them out of their element a little to see how they react. It could shine a little light on issues you might have to deal with in SHTF.September 16, 2014 at 12:33 pm #24907
The saving grace is that I’ve not only lived with all of the people I think will show up, but have also been on extended hunting and/or camping trips with almost all of them. That they haven’t done that together is where I start to wonder how it will all fit together.
Just reading through the ideas in this has been extremely helpful: everyone has great ideas that, when combined, seem to make a great blueprint. Tweva suggests setting up rules ahead of time to avoid conflict, Leopard and 74 reinforce the importance of military-style leadership, Matt76 had the great idea of giving each family their own area and the “niche” strategy could go a long way to alleviating tensions, and our own Selco reminds us that no matter HOW prepared you are there can always be unforeseen issues that arise and to deal with them as they occur.September 16, 2014 at 1:18 pm #24909
Leadership is the key. Knowing who to turn to to make important timely decisions. 2 people giving counter manning directions will cause big problems at the wrong time. This person should be a great manager of people and resources.
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