Hey now!

Snapping turtle is good stuff! Here’s what you do…

First, chop off it’s head. Yeah, yeah, I know… just do it.
Second, take your leaky turtle over to the nearest fence post and nail him to the post about chest high. You want the belly of the turtle facing you. Drive a good sized nail though his tail at the base so that he just hangs there.
Third, using a sharp knife, cut around the joint where the belly plate meets the rest of the turtle and pull it away.
At this point, you can clean away the innards. DO NOT cut the bladder or intestines, it will contaminate the meat. Cut around the anus so the intestines fall away.
Fourth, you can skin the legs of the turtle and start peeling away the meat. Don’t forget the liver and heart.

Once you’ve got all the meat you can, dump the rest. Buzzards and worms gotta eat too. Wash the meat thoroughly. Turtle soup is outstanding.

What you got there is a bad-tempered, slow walking dinner… don’t just get rid of them. That’s good eatin!

The wicked flee when none pursueth..." - Proverbs 28:1