I agree it’s most likely Borderline Personality Disorder, but I can tell you, people with this diagnosis don’t actually control “everything” they think, say and do. There is a compulsivity factor that removes the filters normal people have. When you flip the switch to the anger side there is no reasoning, well not that makes any sense. Everything else you stated is 100% on the money.
I couldn’t disagree more. Families living with individuals suffering from various forms of mental illness have tremendous struggles. Most of the time the family can’t find any help.