If I knew I was going to live to be this old I would have taken better care of myself when I was younger.
Old age always requires a new definition when you’re over …… (you fill in a number).
Real old age is when you know they can kill you and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Medicaid is what’s left after your kids steal all the assets.
Old age is when your kids remember your life better than you do.
Don’t worry about old age… keep a pistol under the pillow.
Death doesn’t exist.