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( Whats that bit about knowin when to walk away and when to run? ) ~~Animals friend, moments before they attempted to break the land speed record for retreats.

Timing is a little more involved than simply getting to class on time. In order to get the most out of timing, you need to have a grasp of the other concepts we’ve gone over. With good timing, you can call someone a #$%^ and they ‘ll laugh. If you say that to them in the same tones with bad timing, youll get stomped. Whats the difference?

Well, it has something to do with the fact that the world isn’t a static place. It is always changing. The oriental concept of yin and yang represents change. It isn’t stationary; its always revolving and moving. Like your balance, timing is a kinetic thing. Because of this, something that is appropriate one time won’t be so later, or sooner.

In combat, timing is two different things. One is the pattern (beat, meter; whatever term you understand) that a person uses. Most people have a pattern, and it can be used to your advantage. Timing, in combat, is also knowing when to use something or not to as the case may be. This is very important.

Let’s look at the first definition of timing. Lets say that you spar with someone over a period of time. You will eventually come to know how this person moves. (~~KOS/Robert Greene Teach no one your tricks, or they will be used against you. KOS woopsy ;) ) It is an awareness of his body signals, or his patterns . By pattern , I mean you can set your clock by the fact that he always jabs three times. In fact, he might even have a rhythm –“one…two-three.” Thats his timing. You can relax with it. You know all about it. !!!!!The only problem is, one day he goes “one… two-three-four”!!!!! Youve fallen into his pattern so well, the fourth blow just walks right in. Ouch. With practice, however, you will learn how to use it to your advantage and your partners disadvantage.

The second type of timing is a little more difficult to explain. It consists of knowing what will have the most effect when delivered at the proper time. A nighty nite bunny rabbit punch, thrown at the very begining of a fight has little chance of landing if your opponent is fresh. On the other hand, if your opponent is so trashed that he can’t react fast enough, a Setup punch is a waste of time.

Have you ever been in a tug of war and your opponent suddenly lets go? As long as you both were pulling with equal force, you stayed in balance, but when the equalizing force was removed, you took a nosedive. Timing consists of knowing when to push, when to pull; when not to do anything, when to do something; when to resist, when not to.

With a proper sense of timing, you can, in a sense, get in a pushing match, slowly move over to the cliff, and then step aside. If you meet no resistance, you can keep your b alance by not pushing too hard. Most people don’t realize this, go charging forward, and end up flying off the cliff.

Timing therefore, is knowing that, in the end, you can get things accomplished by doing something, or in other cases by doing nothing. Timing is also a case of knowing when to do something. if you were to pull at a rock on a mountain side during winter, nothing might happen due to the ice binding everything together. but if you were to pull that same rock in the spring, when everything is soaked by the melting snow, you might get an avalanch; in the summer, a rock slide. Timing consists of balancing factors that are always changing, and consists of b alancing factors that are always changing, and applying action (or inaction) at the optimum moment for the greatest results.

Theres a great game to teach timing. Take two blocks — one foot square by, say, three inches high– and about twenty feet of rope. Set the blocks about three feet apart and divvy up the rope so its equal. Now you get on one block and have someone else get on the other. The object of the game is to get your opponent to fall off the block or lose the rope. Its a tug of war with brains, not brawn. If they pull too hard, let go; they fall. If they don’t pull hard enough, you either drag the rope out of their hands or pull them off the block. Try it; its a hoot.


God loves fools and children, and I ‘ain’t a child no more. That leaves only one option~~ Animal

Years ago I knew a man by the name of “lucky” He really did deserve that name, too. Someone had decided to remove him from existence via two or three goons with machine guns. Well, lucky had just settled down on the toilet and lit a joint when they began to blast through his front door. This was not a professional job; they blew his hotel room away and didn’t check to see if they’d got him. With his pants around his knees, he flattened himself against the wall and had his sawed off shotgun pointing to the entry way. Well, they beat feet, and he was left to clean up. All of the bullets missed him and utterly sloughed his room. What pissed him off the most was he got evicted for that incident. This is luck.

Luck is exactly what it is. Its dumb luck that a two by four just happens to be there when youre confronted by two punks. Who are we to complain? Its sheer chance that the mugger kicked a piece of garbage while he was sneaking up behind you. Look a gift horse in the mouth — who me? for good or bad, you have to play the cards dealt to you. Don’t even think about disregarding the X factor. (KOS~~ to the last breath). The best laid plans of mice and men etc… If you accept that luck is the wild card in the game, you won’t ever get fat and lazy. (KOS~~ fats still A – ok in my book)

As a matter of fact, the card bit is a good analogy. You can’t control what is dealt to you, but you can sure as $%^ try to improve it. Knowing the odds, knowing what to throw away, what to keep, (Bruce lee), etc.; all of these things can improve luck. If you know what youre doing, you can walk away a winner. So luck, in a sense, is something that you hdo have some control over. In fact, a large part of luck really has to do with timing as much as anything else. That means you know when to use the little things that life suddenly gives you. I once heard a great definition of luck ; Laboring Under Correct Knowledge. Keep your eyes open on this one, because real luck doesn’t come in big waves; it sort of trickles in. If you know how to use that constant trickle, you can do real well. So nnow that you accept that luck is a serious factor in self defence, we can get into the next step.


“I looked at all of them and knew i was outflanked, out$%^&*, and outgunned.”
“so whatcha do?”
“I went over to the edge of the porch and took a piss.”
“you what?”
“Yep, and when I turned around I had my .45 and my dick pointing at them. ” ~~Animal and Step father.

There is no such thing as a designer fight. If you can improve your odds by adding a beer bottle to your arsenal, do it. Improvisation has come up with some of the best life saving tricks that i can remember. Anything can be used to your advantage. Let me tell you, I didn’t believe this until i had it used against me. I now laugh about the time that i got the snot beat out of me by a hair brush; I didn’t then. Then there was the time I threw a punch and it was caught in a pot. These things do happen. Improvisation teaches you to use what is there, while hoping something better comes along, like a cop. Yet as we all know, cops aren’t able to be everywhere at once, so you may just have to wing it on your own. That’s okay. Thats why i wrote this book; you can do it.

Improvisation consists of three things: situation, tools, and location. There might be more, but you can make them up as you go along.

Situation is who is involved, why they are involved, and is it good or bad if they are involved or not? Lets say you are about to get into a jam. Nothing actually has happened yet, its just some guy giving you the hard eye. Well, lo and behold, who should walk in except a group of your acquaintances. Oh boy, one or two of them are real knuckle draggers too. Go talk to them, be friendly, buy the first round, or whatever. This is improvisation. You see your friend about to get into it. Suddenly you are very drunk; you stagger up to them and slur to your friend that you need his help. You’re about to be sick and need to be helped outside. The opposing tough guy has a choice; he could buy it, or he can think its a scam and run the risk of getting puked on. I don’t care how tough you are, getting barfed on is a really uncool. (by the way, that is a rael good way to get through a crowd. Bug your eyes, look pale, and tell people you are going to be sick. Moses didn’t get such a fast parting as you will.

Do something out of the ordinary is another one of your best defenses. Go ape$%^& on the dude. Start screaming incoherently about his mothers poor taste in herbivores for sexual partners. Drool, bug your eyes, start quoting scriptures liberally laced with profanity while ripping off your cloths. Scream that he has turned into a tarantula. Anything! Just so long as he thinks you’re nuts.

I have something that i picked up a long time ago. All of my life i have been around animals (the four footed type). After watching critters for a while, I realized that they had a great way of communication when they didn’t want another being near them. They growl. I discovered cats understand when you communicate to them in this form. English sucks. One growl, however, can say; If they try to snap that piece of chicken off your plate while you get up to get the pepper, you will rip their whiskers off one at a time. This they understand.

I began to growl more and more often. Something annoys me, and if a sentence would take too long, I growl. Great way to get someone to suddenly remember that they have to go shampoo the cat. The thing about this is, it isn’t a bluff. When i do it, i mean it. In order for it to work you must mean it, too.

What i am saying is that out of the ordinary behavior is spookey to most people. (KOS *chuckle). If you start bleeding, wipe some of the blood on your hand and lick it off. Then, with a maniacal smile, look at whoever just hurt you and advance. They’ll get the message– its time to go.

I have a friend who was about to get jumped in a bathroom. He turned and pissed on one of the guys. While the guy was looking at his shoe in shock, my friend hit him and then blasted through the rest. Thats improvisation .

An important part of situational improvisation is the goals of your opponent(s). If they are going to jump you, for money or whatever, they don’t want attention. Do something that will allow you to get into an area of attention before you make a stand. Run into a crowd of people screaming “fire,” then spin around to face your attackers. You’ll have an audience, which is exactly what your attackers don’t want.

If however, someone is really gunning for you and is bound, bit, and determined to %^&* you up, having an audience may not be in your best interest. if its an area where brawling is the norm, then its different rules all together; an audience will cheer, drink beer, and enjoy the show. If there aren’t any witnesses, its just your word against his. (nough said)


By the way, here is another important point. I have met more than one bucket of scum in this world. These people are real sneak in one way; they will do all kinds of illegal, harassing %^&* to you, but the moment you retaliate in kind, they go screaming to the police. Your car was trashed and your house windows broken. You go seeking revenge, and they have you thrown into jail for assault. The trick?


Proper location is another example of using what is around to aid in your cause (surviving). If you are a distance fighter and you realize things are beginning to look bad, check your locale. Are you in an area where distance fighting won’t be that effective? If that is the case, what style does the guy squaring off against you look to be? Is he a distance fighter, too? Or is he an infighter? If he is a distance fighter, is he in a better position than you? Do you have a wall or table blocking you in one direction? Is it on his strong or weak side? (in other words, can he, with his stronger right side, keep you pinned against the wall to his left? Your stronger right side has a wall stopping it, while your weaker left side has to deal with whatever hes throwing. Incidently, this was a common design in castle stairs. Attackers would have the wall blocking their sword arm, while defenders had a full swing area.

More questions: is there more than one of them? this includes fighting one guy who has friends. While he may have started it, if he bgins to lose too badly, his friends might feel compelled to help him out. If so, are you in a place where you can be circled around and struck from behind? Remember the world model you may be facing. To a streetfighter, the marquis of queensberry is some fruit on the broadway. There are no gentlemen in a brawl, and that is why they are so dangerous. The first and only rule is survival.

This is also why so many formally trained black belts go down in a fight. They’re used to being on the mat, where movement is unrestricted and they don’t have to worry about tripping over trash cans. In an alley, you do. Aikido is a great style in the wide open, yet it relies on dodging blows. If you put a wall to one side so an aikido stylist can’t duck that way, it really fouls up his chances. The same can be said for most formal styles. Unless you spar in a hallway, if your caught in one, you won’t know what to do. This is a major weakness in most of the teaching of self defense. Therefore, i advise practicing in unconventional situations to teach you what to do if you can’t do a certain move. One of the best fencing “brawls” I was ever in was up and down a cramped stairway. (we used to spar about three steps shy of mutilation.)””

End quote *chuckle*

Never be afraid to do the righteous thing, nothing righteous is ever easy.