#28705
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Inshala
Veteran
member4

Bug,

I think you may have answered your own question in a roundabout fashion.

When I first read the title of your post, I said to myself, ‘Yes! I’ve experienced this first hand.” When I continued reading your post you mentioned that they were speaking Spanish…bingo!

I come from a Latin background and I can tell you first hand that most Latino’s and romance language cultures are VERY loud when communicating the most basic and unemotional messages. This is also applicable to a lot of the Mediterranean cultures as well to include Arabic. Once you introduce the slightest bit of emotion into a conversation…FORGET ABOUT IT! The volume intensifies to a level that makes most people of the WASP culture uncomfortable when really no aggression is intended. I made a conscious effort when I was younger to be the complete opposite of that although I talk with my hands to excess. You are right as well as Latino’s accepting a strict regimen and “authoritarian” atmosphere. That is very cultural and stems from the extended family system.

The priest I grew up with and knew for my entire life was an off the boat, old school Castilian Spaniard. My neighborhood was predominantly Puerto Rican and he was the perfect fit for a Roman Catholic church in need of a native Spanish speaker. He was abrasive, loud, and often times came off as belligerent. He would yell and talk down to people. He sermons were fire and brimstone and he preached absolutes: It was the way of the Roman Catholic Church or the highway to hell [period]. He was the reason why I had a crisis of faith in my early teen years and if it wasn’t for an amazing friend that introduced me to his protestant church, I probably would never have found my spirituality…..but I digress. Years later I would come to understand and accept the culture and eventually returned to that church. Once I accepted the fact that he was just old fashioned I realized that he really was a man of God with a rough exterior and tough love approach. If Armageddon were to happen, I’d want him leading a platoon of believers against the forces of Satan. He passed away this year after forty years of service. I never thought I would…but I miss him.

As far as how to handle your situation, are you judging him by what you perceive to be misplaced aggression or by his acts as a spiritual leader and servant of the Lord? As the cliché goes: Actions speak louder than words (no pun intended). Step back a moment and observe. You might have to try a change of venue like I did to appreciate the situation. If all else fails, refer to KOS’s suggestion. It’s priceless.

"If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die historic on the Fury Road."