When I was little, I saw my uncle die in hospital from emphysema. I could not handle the sound of him not being able to breath. I fainted. After that, it was people that died in vehicle accidents.
I think if you see death often, and how in a second, people can make the decision to pull the trigger, you learn to appreciate life. Then the silly things that bothered you before, does not matter. The real life things matter.
I’ve seen camera footage of a people being shot. I’ve looked into peoples eyes that has been shot, people that has been tortured for four hours. Cable ties cutting into their skin. Almost no blood circulation to their hands.Waiting for the ambulance. I will never forget their eyes.
Also the faces of people that has just witnessed someone dying. Over the years my friends in the police force will come to my house for a few minutes, in silence. I’ve learned to give them space. Give them some water or tea. It is the sadness of the family members that gets to them.