I’m new here. Middle-aged woman. Been (kicked) around the block a few times. Had to confront helping some people who were suffering & not going to get better who asked for the help I could give. I did what I could. That was hard; they were good people in bad situations. I’m not sorry but it does haunt me. Have also had to confront a man I was in a relationship with who pulled a gun on myself & my son. We sat for a day “watching TV” while he watched us with this .45 cal. semi-auto on us. At bedtime that’s when the fight for the gun happened. Still got a scar on my arm from where he bit me and another in the web space between my thumb and 1st finger where I jammed it to keep the hammer from falling and shooting…somebody. When we got the gun from him, I was just watching him like a hawk. I know if he’d have twitched an eyelid wrong, I’d have killed him. I don’t know if it would have haunted me the way the others do but I am absolutely sure I’d have pulled the trigger. You did what you had to do. He wasn’t a good man in a bad situation–YOU were the good man in a bad situation. He was a bum without regard for life. BTW, the guy who pulled a gun on us was also robbing me blind. After I booted him (took me awhile, had to figure out how to get him out without confronting him & causing another standoff) my son & I spent 6 months without food, water, money, anything. I learned a lot about survival through that but that’s another story for another day. The important thing is to forgive yourself and understand that you did what you had to do. Be comforted knowing you are a good man who handled a bad situation with grace and dignity.
Keep your powder dry,