Thanks all for your comments and well wishes and for holding the world together for another week. We’re back safe and sound and it is always a delight to see the grandbabies. They change so quickly! A few months makes a big difference.
Looks like lots of good threads and discussions to catch up on in the next few days too.
I can’t claim any successes in opening anyone’s eyes, though you never know if a kernel that is planted will yield fruit down the road. Much of the energy that I might have given over to those efforts was supplanted by my nephew’s situation. When he didn’t show up for the wedding we were all wondering where he was and then a couple hours into the reception my wife gets a text message from him saying there was trouble in paradise. Long story short he and his wife split up and things got ugly real fast with restraining orders and a custody fight over their 1 year old. The situation continues to get worse and I am emotionally and mentally drained from trying to help him. He’s an only child, his dad (my brother) is deceased, his mother is not in the picture, and my wife and I for all intents and purposes are his support network. He is smart, educated, extremely likeable, very hard working, and regretfully his parent’s child demonstrating the same inadequate impulse control and poor decision-making skills that they had. His parents were both attorneys and divorced when he was 3. His upbringing was chaotic and his adult life to date is repeating history. I have tried teaching him decision making, money management and other skills but most of the time it seems nothing is learned. I know that if I were the one who was deceased and my kids needed help that my brother would have done his best to help them, and so I owe it to him to keep trying to help his son. He is an adult and needs to get his own life in order and so maybe there is a lesson here in accepting that there are things I can’t control or fix.