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When you talk to soldiers who are in combat when you fire off 1000,of rounds and there are dead people you can say i didnt shoot them mentally, this gets more acute when there are non combatant deaths. It takes you to lose part of yourself to knowing go and kill another no matter how justifiable it is, until you do it you can never understand it, those who have more confirmed kia than people on death row fall into 3 types ghouls, psychopaths and the haunted.